I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
