dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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