Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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