i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
