She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The power of my boobs compel you
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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