I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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