Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
