you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
