Pappa wants mamma naked
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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