She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
