Non-Jews are for practice
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
