it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize