My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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