just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
