so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
