What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
