just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
