a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
