i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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