he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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