Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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