Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
