That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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