i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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