Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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