I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
