I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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