Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize