Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
