What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
