Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize