if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
