He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
