ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
