Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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