the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize