literally had 100 drinks last night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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