Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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