he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
