Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
