This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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