I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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