I will die if light touches me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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