Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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