Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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