if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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