Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
