Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
