So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize