I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
