Porn is love you can see.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
