I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
