question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
