I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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