So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
