It's just like the Real World with babies
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
